A Church Girl’s Search of “The One”

Being a Woman at times can be work. You get to that age where everyone is looking at you with eyes of, where is the man. You feel like crying. Of course you want to get married. But should you just settle because of it. I think you shouldn’t, I think you should have a checklist. And be serious about at least three-quarters of it.

I have come across the ladies that honestly find godly men repulsive. Do not get me wrong, am not talking about the partying and drinking kind of ladies. I have interacted with women who love the Lord and are godly but never find godly men attractive. I do not blame them because there is an equal share of men from church that do not like church girls, no offense taken.

Am not writing to make an appeal for you to like people from your “hood” but I would advocate for young people especially the lady to look into the future and ask, ” if this person never changed at all, would I still choose them?”

You can never Change a Man

The problem with ladies is that we always have an inclination or a fantasy that always rings, “change him.” The issue is you cannot change anyone, only God can. You will end up getting frustrated and feeling a sense of lose and pain if you enter into something with the thought of changing a man.

We have different tastes and preferences I must confess. Some of the reasons as to why we are attracted to a certain category of people and totally repelled by another is a question we will have to ask God. Sometimes I think it is some sort of God’s sense of humor.

If we all loved light-skinned men, what will happen to those who are, well, blessed with melanin. If we all loved voluptuous women, where will the rest of us go? So God’s sense of humor made your poison my cup of coffee. And that is a great equalizer.

The Church Girl’s Diary

I had a conversation with a friend about how sometimes we make prayers to God about something and when He answers we are in utmost disbelief because we did not think He heard. For instance, I believe that in every church girl’s diary there is always that prayer for a future mate that goes something like, ” I pray that he is a Godly man and fears the Lord.”

In my quest of being, well, too extra with words and articulate in my diary I added something to do with not only fearing the Lord but hearing the Lord, clearly. My reason for adding the “hearing God” part was because I argued that even the devil and his kingdom fear the Lord and so, just fearing did not just cut it for me. It had to be more.

I love reading books and I must confess that books that deal with relationships are my best. I won’t lie to you that I have read any business books. I tried to read Rich Dad Poor Dad that The Marketing World intensively promoted on social media, and well it was a nice book but that was just that.

A Girl’s Prayer For A Godly Man

So in my search for knowledge, I read a book that advised me to actually pray that the man who will marry me will love God more than he loved me. Well, church girl you must admit that that is a very good line to shout while praying than it is when it becomes practical. The prayer of asking for a man that loves God more at first was just so beautiful.

It sounded beautiful because for one I would tell my friends when they asked me about the kind of man I was looking for and two if I landed such a man then I would not have issues to do with infidelity. Of course, no lady wants a cheat.

Sometimes praying for a God hearing/fearing/loving God more than he loves me feels like a young girl who just wants to have triplets so that she can take pictures with them and show them off to her friends and on Instagram.

Sometimes it is just a selfish prayer or a statement we make to pass time and look good while making vectors in the power room. We concluded with my friend that sometimes we really do not know what we are asking for when we ask for a man of such noble character.

Well, you will look good with him while going to church, you will be asked by other ladies what you did to be blessed with such a man, you will feel good about it but just like everything else, there are costs to pay and battles to fight.

The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that He shall do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask for, think or imagine. Haha, I actually laugh thinking of the prayers I made concerning a mate. My prayer for a God fearing/hearing/loving God more than me kind of freaks me out when I think about this scripture and the fact that by now i know that God answers prayers.

It is something that my spirit wants but my flesh would not have any of it. Well the flesh and the spirit are always at opposites so I won’t stress myself trying to settle that score.

How A Godly Man Looks Like

Dear church girl, lemme take you through what a God fearing/hearing/loving God more than you looks like.

He is more like Abraham, a man who will wake up one day and ask you to pack your belongings because you have to leave. You will ask where it is you are going to and saying he doesn’t have a clue will be the best response that he has for you at that moment.

He is the kind that will engage in warfare that were not his lot in the first place to fight. Do I have to tell you that you will have to have a guest room and plenty of space for strangers because you never know who it is that the Lord has asked you host at the moment. My dear church girl, you will have to always cook more than enough since you do not know which “angels” will be visiting your home and when.

A God hearing/fearing/loving God more than you do is so much like Abraham, since he will always let others choose the spots, they think are the best. He will choose the wilderness while allowing “Lot” to choose first. He is the kind that will go back and fight for Lot like his own life depended on it. He is the kind that keeps no record of wrongs.

You will Be with Him When He is Tested

As if that is not enough, this kind of man is one that undergoes a lot of tests, there are things that he will be told to let go that sometimes will drive you nuts or even make you question his sanity. There are conflicts that you might end up having that might make you feel as if he doesn’t really care about you.

There are things that he might get the conviction to give up that will cost him more than you can imagine. I believe Abraham was not smiling while going up the mountain to kill his son. There were conflicts in his heart and there must have been doubts as well.

Make no mistake to think that this man is perfect. He is not, God is also working on him and his character. There might be a thing or two that easily entangles him but that is personal journey with God and try not to lose respect for him because of that else you want to settle that score with God like the likes of Zipporah, Aaron and Mical who was David’s wife.

A God hearing/fearing/loves God more than his mate requires a woman with an equivalent frequency. He cannot be unequally yoked else one might end up hating God or blaming Him for stealing His partner. Haha, funny. They have to be in synch, she has to be all that she wishes to have and even more. She also has to hear God in equal measure else that house will not stand.

The tests and trials and battles are nothing compared to the bliss of having someone who God calls his friend. A man who walks and talks with God. He might appear to be nothing much but his kind is rare.

His beginning might be small but he has no end. God blesses them that he Blesses and Curses them that he curses. His children and children’s children up to a thousand generation are blessed and highly favored and to him miracles are just a way of life.

Do I still Want A Godly Man?

I love the thrill of such a life, that is my preference; that is what makes my heart tick. Well, I must admit that sometimes it will annoy to the core but from the lips of my heart to the ears of God, I do want a man who is God hearing/fearing/loving God more than he loves me to be the one who fathers my children because such a man is worthy to be called the father of Nations.


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