Depression. Today was one of those days that you wake up feeling pathetic. I woke up depressed and could not put a finger to what was going on. You know that spirit of heaviness that the Bible speaks about. I experienced that today. We all have one of those days when everything crumbles and we cannot carry the weight anymore. So, I let tears flow freely.
No words were coming out. I try to psyche myself up and try not to cry or something like that but I could not. The more I told myself not to cry the more tears flowed. I sat on the floor and let it all come out. After what seemed like an eternity, I stopped crying and headed to prepare for church.
I put that ordeal at the back of my mind. I promised myself that we would come back and find out what was the cause of that break down. I know as ladies we have those days, that time of the month. For me, I do not want to give the enemy a foothold to think that he can be attacking me just because of the time of the month. Anyway, it was not that time of the month either.
I am a strong believer that self- awareness is the best gift that a person can give themselves. If I know me, then things will not get to me as a surprise. If I know me then I will have the ability to tackle stuff like these from a place of knowledge. Here are a few things that I got to learn about depression.
Depression is a spirit
Depression is not something that should be taken lightly. Depression is a spirit. The Bible calls it the spirit of heaviness. The Book of Psalm has very many instances of when the writer’s spirit was downcast. The moment you identify it as what it is, then you are able to fight it from the point of victory. The Bible speaks of King Saul having a distressing spirit that would attack him occasionally.
The atmosphere of Depression
Although the attack might come unexpected, the spirit requires an atmosphere for it to remain. There is a saying that states that you can’t stop birds from flying over you, but you can stop them from nesting on your head. Thus, you need to find out what atmosphere it thrives in and try as much as you can to ensure that you don’t have that atmosphere.
Depression loves darkness
I have realized countless times that when depression sets in, I find myself staying in a dark room. The more I stick in the dark the stronger it becomes. So, the next time the attack will come, I know the lights must be on. I know that I have to go in an open place. Depression cannot thrive in a well-lit room or in an open place.
Depression loves solitude
We all have those times that we want to be alone. Sometimes, solitude is important. We want to be alone so that we may get perspective, maybe seek the Lord and enjoy His presence for a while. But when the spirit of heaviness attacks, do not be alone. Solitude is a territory that depression know and so when you sense that you are being attacked, of you are not secluding yourself to pray, then be around people.
Depression loves Disorganization
The Spirit of God, is a spirit of order and organization. Having the opposite automatically invites something else that is not of God or from God. When you sense the spirit of heaviness attacking, then try putting your house in order, literally. Wash those dirty utensils in the sink, open the windows and let the fresh air come in. Wash those dirty clothes, in the laundry basket. Fold those clean house that have been on the sofa for the past one week.
The enemy does not like order. He hates cleanliness. It might look like just a physical thing but it has an effect in the spirit. Spray the living room, buff the sofa. Let that environment be clean. I know when you are depressed, doing something is the last thing you want to do. It will take a lot of effort to even take the dirty cups from the table, but this you must.
Pajamas have to go. This means that you have to shower. Takes a warm shower. I am not disputing the that this will need a lot of effort from your side. After, that shower, please dress up. Not the pajamas. Put on something nice, dress up like you are waiting for a guest or going out.
Depression loves silence
My pastor usually gives this scenario; when a thief attacks a house, the first thing he tells his victims it to keep quiet. The same applies with the devil. The bible calls him a thief; that the thief comes not but to steal, kill and destroy. He is a thief and he wants silence. As much as you can, do not be silent.
This applies even if you are alone. Speak up. Speak to yourself. The bible has so many instances when David speaks to his soul. He asks his soul why it is downcast; he tries to find perspective of why he is downcast. He then tells his soul to hope in God. He talks to God about the condition of His heart.
Therefore, whatever you do, do not be silent. Speak to your soul and speak to God about the state of your soul. The soul entails the mind and the emotions of man. At times these two might get too overwhelmed to the point where they see things blurry. So, they need stability and perspective. These can only be found in the word of God.
Music is the food for the soul
Depression does not love music. Music is that which speaks to the soul even without the person’s permission. Music becomes the food the soul needs when depression sets in. have good music in your phone, laptop, and any other gadget. Let music play even through the night. Let the music be spirit-filled and be heavy on the word of God; nothing can beat this.
Depression and Prayer
Prayer to depression is what water is to fire. Prayer, especially in tongues has a way of causing havoc to depression. This might be the hardest thing you might feel like doing but it is worth it. You need to pray in the Spirit and with the spirit as well. Do not stop praying until the spirit of heaviness is lifted from you. Praying with understanding might be hard thus shift to praying in the spirit.
Depression and Journaling
I know for people that do not love writing; this might be a mountain sort of thing. But something can only be well processed when you get out of the situation and analyze the situation outside yourself. Write everything. If you feel like drawing, please draw. For me, I scribble, then draw emojis, then I write, and the cycle continues, until I write something. Sometimes, I will even pause for tears to flow, to just cry and acknowledge that what am writing is having a toll on me. I can fake with everyone else but myself.
Depression and Thankfulness
What are you thankful for? You might not be having your dream job right now but you have a job and it is paying the bills. You might not be having food today, but you ate yesterday. You might not be seeing eye to eye with your parents but they are alive. You might not be in your dream campus but you passed and are in campus regardless.
When we write what we are grateful about, we tend to realize that we are not so badly of. We get to realize that our current situation was one time a prayer item that you cried out to God. I might not be where I wanted to be today but I am not where I was a year ago. Maybe I am even where I was a year ago but I am alive. If you have sticky notes, write in bold letters the things you are grateful to God about. Stick those reasons on the walls in every visible place so that you can read them in when you walk around.
In conclusion, life deals us a bad card once too often. Sometimes, hope is deferred and true to the word of God, it makes the heart sick. My friend told me the other day, when your heart gets sick because of your heart being deferred, kindly let it. Let your heart feel what it supposed to feel at that particular time.
Give your heart acknowledgement it deserves and let it feel what it is supposed to feel. Most times it is not depression, it could be a call to go back to the crossroads and analyze the path of your life. It could be that the Holy Spirit is calling you, come up thither. Thus, also learn to be sensitive to the spirit to know what he is communicating to you.