I tend to spend most of my birthdays in prayer centers. My current favorite prayer center is the Heaven’s Gate in Gilgil. My friend told me that I should try out the Mizpah prayer Center, I think I will soon.
Last year February was a time that I must say, “had I not believed that I would experience the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, I would have lost heart. “
I was in a flood of emotions and prayer was my only solution. I would pray for long hours just so that i would get the strength to go to work or even do anything for that matter. The only thing that was keeping me afloat was either praying in tongues for long hours or just singing songs that I had not heard anywhere.
I mean, have you ever been in a place where, there is no song that just fits for you to speak to God. I would just hum choruses in my room, choruses that would remain in my heart for days and even weeks.
Sina hofu nawe wala sikushuku najua wanipendaNimefunzwa Vita
I found myself repenting to God for the having doubted him. The chorus went something like, “I don’t doubt you, I know that you love me.” This chorus stuck until my mind started making sense out of it. Then God wanted to hear something else.
There was a voice in my heart that was urging me that victimization and pity party time was over. I wasn’t quite ready for that, I wanted God to give me some time. i even laugh at the thought of this season.
Every time I could start feeling like I wanted to break down, the song would come: “… who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.”
I felt like the call Jesus was making to man who had been at the well for 38 years. “Do you want to be made well. ” All I wanted was for God to validate what I was feeling. He was not invalidating it, all he was saying was:
You have encircled this Mountain for Long, Launch forwardNimefunzwa Vita
I know we have found ourselves asking God this question. You reason out that you are a good person and therefore it should go without saying that you life should be fair to you.
We have all made those entitled prayers before God. We all have beat our chest before the King listing why we should not be going through what we are going through:
“Lord I serve you, I go to church, I tithe. I am a good person. Why should this be happening to me. i do not deserve this. This should not be happening to me. I didn’t deserve to lose that Job. I should not have had that miscarriage, I did deserve this or that. I am a good person.”
You are Not a Victim
You might be saying right now that I actually have no idea of what you are going through. It could be:
- Job Loss
- Death of a Loved one
- Diagnosis of a terminal illness
- Broken Heart etc
You might be feeling like you are actually in the midst of the fire right now. You might even be looking at this article and just telling yourself that “she doesn’t understand.”
You are right, in all honesty I do not understand. I will never understand your pain or situation, even if we go through the same experience. But I know someone who feels it and understand it in every way. He says, this is not how you go down.
Prayer is the only sure way of getting out
Speak Up during Battle
My pastor usually gives an amazing illustration about the strategy of the enemy. She says, “when a thief comes to your house, the first thing he tells you to do is to BE QUIET. “
This strategy also works in the spiritual realm, the devil wants you to be silent. He takes charge of your thought; isolates you from a community, then works on your thoughts. He injects your mind with depression. He makes you be in a state of self pity to the extent that you think that you have no power over the circumstance.
You will win the Battle
You are equipped to win. You are not a victim of the things you are going through.
You will have to believe it first then declare it as often as possible. You have to know that the enemy hates you, passionately. and he will everything to bring you down. You have to take up you weapons of war and fight like your life depends on it because it does.
You have to know that you have what it takes to win this battle. But, the first idea is to be aware that there is a battle, and you were recruited even without your consent.
The book Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor the flame scorch you.”
This is an assurance that, though we do not know the in-between in this battle, we are assured of the ending. The end of the matter is that , You are coming out alive.
I would like you to make that declaration:
Oh you Fire, You ain’t burning me
Oh You Flames, You ain’t scorching me
Oh you rivers, You ain’t Overwhelming me
The Lord has taught me How to FightDeclaration
Now arise and fight. Fight for the territory of your mind. Fight for your peace. Fight for your family. Fight oh beloved because the Lord has equipped you to fight.
I pray that the song blesses your heart as it has blessed me.