The Reality of Spiritual Trauma in The Church

I heard that Wednesday is the new series in town, and people are watching it. It is an interesting one. To follow the story, you will have to watch the anime Addam’s Family; Yeah Addam with double D, as Wednesday tends to correct those that misspell it.

This week was coupled with many activities; one man of God had Bishop Dag Heward Mills visiting Kenya. He is in Thika, by the way.

He is a renowned minister of God’s word and has written many books. I have so much admiration for him. Where does he get all the time while I try to make mine worthwhile?

Secondly, we had a mega crusade at the Kasarani Stadium that flocked. I do not know the stadium’s capacity, but that place was packed. Everyone was asking who Bishop Ezekiel was. I heard about him on Monday.

Bishop Ezekiel has had people talking; we have haters and die-hards in equal measure. My opinion, I have no opinion (Sina Maoni). People ridicule the stars, while others say, “touch not the anointed of God.”

But, uhm, whether it’s charisma or packaging, do you know how hard-headed Kenyans are? Kenyans will hype you on social media that they will come for your event, and no one will show up.

Bringing forth such a crowd is something else; whether he is one of us or not, he is doing something, and the people of the fold love it.

You cannot ignore that many people did not attend Church on Sunday. Those people were not at home, sleeping. They were in Kasarani Stadium.

Let’s not talk about the miracles; let’s talk about the people. I am in social media, and I think he should have done more publicity to garner such vast numbers. I have yet to learn about the stars. I don’t. I’m in a dilemma, and my heart is open to God.

I am reminded of the rage the disciples had against the people preaching about Jesus, who was not among the twelve. The sweet Merciful, and Gracious Lord told His disciples if they are not scattering…

Have you read God’s Generals? The revival in the 70s was quenched because those who had the mantle could not believe or “accept” that God could come in another package. The truth is we cannot fit God in a Box.

He can come as a baby in a Manger or a rumble of thunder that makes the Israelites plead with Moses to “hear” God on their behalf. He can come in a way that even offends you.

Case in point, JB (John the Baptist), when in prison, asked if Jesus was the one that was promised or if they should wait for another. If JB was offended, Christ calls him the greatest. How much more are you and I?

They called Jesus a glutton and stuff because he did not come in the package they were used to. New wine, new Wineskin.

I am not for him or against him. I know no one has power unless that which is given to him from Above. Even the people that murdered Jesus had to get that power from above. Even the devil seeks permission from above.

I also know about the end-time prophecy, and only time will tell if Kenya is up for a great move of God, if the people are just hungry for God or if they are running to hear what their itching ears want to hear. TIME, TIK TAK TIK TAK (I wonder why I do not want to say TIK TOK).

Case Closed.

So, spiritual trauma. I have been trying to tread carefully about this particular matter, but it seems to get out of hand.

So those who do not know about spiritual trauma result from either abuse by religious/spiritual figures or being raised with a toxic and overbearing interpretation of a particular religion or spiritual belief.

Trauma can threaten or damage one’s core spiritual values and goals.

We cannot ignore that spiritual leaders have sexually abused some people. Well, you can say not your leader or that the devil is a liar, and for sure, he is a liar.

The Instrumentalist Man of God

Uhm, I will share this because I was given clearance. Ahaha, so, well, okay, I will paraphrase what this person told me. We met in the most awkward of places.

 You see a man waking up in church very early, coming to serve on Sunday, and you can genuinely say that this man loves the Lord.

But, the man of God wants him to be available every time he is preaching. The only problem is that the Man of God preaches from Monday to Monday.

Thus, our man has almost made the house of God his home. It will not be wrong if this house will make him some money because, in all honesty, if that man is expected to be in church every day without fail, then we call that work, and he has to earn.

 The poor man told me that he did this for years, trying to look for a part-time job to make ends meet because the man of God told him that God would bless him.

The man of God did not think he would be the channel God would use to bless our instrumentalists.

As we spoke, my friend ( I think I can call him my friend) was not actively serving in the church. He had to look for a job. He is playing his instrument in a high-end club in a posh place and making ends meet.

The ends are not only meeting; the ends are just unique. He says he doesn’t drink alcohol or anything, goes to church very early on Sunday, and hears some offs here and there from the band but has made peace with himself and God.

It reminds me of the singers in the book of Nehemiah; they were no longer in the temple as they had gone to “make ends meet.”

The Frustrated Man of God

Another one told me that he serves in a ministry that does amazing stuff. They have services every day, morning, lunch hour, and evening service.

He is expected to be in church by 6 am for morning glory, and the church can sometimes go over to even 10 pm. The church is in the CBD, so he has to commute after the service. He is not even offered a meal. He is on payroll, haha, Ksh. 200 per day. How much is the fare to any location from the CBD?

To make it even more interesting, the man has to be wise. On Sundays, well, he is earning.

How did we start preaching so much about tithe, not stealing from God, and forgetting about other people that are supposed to eat from the church? Am not even talking about singers, lakini instrumentalists huku nje wanapitia.

The Unspoken

Can we talk?

Uhm, wueh this is a very fragile topic altogether. Apart from the fact that those people serving in church, especially the instrumentalist, are hurting and leaving the church. We have ladies who the men of God have mishandled.

I am not talking about the ones that we know are fake and speaking of the men of God who eventually got more inclined to their humanity. Ladies are hurting because they are vulnerable to a spiritual cover that takes advantage.

The matter of sexual assault is very sensitive, and most women tend to keep it to themselves rather than endure being called Jezebel. So she takes one for the team. Lord have Mercy.

Most of the time, the lady might even blame herself for how she dressed. Also, let’s be honest, if someone came to you and told you that they were hurt by someone you respect would you trust them?

People end up leaving the church for reasons that are not clear because as much as we would want to know why they left, we are not willing to believe.

I am still pursuing, am still learning. I am falling and rising to experience life altogether in its totality. Be sensitive if you are drinking from clean Wells. Praise the Lord but do not for a moment invalidate the fact that spiritual authorities are hurting people.

I am not judging, am not even sitting in the judgment seat of God.. all I am saying, as my friend has been teaching me to say, is, “Lord, remember Mercy. I plead for Mercy.”

Happy Wednesday, Beloved.

With Love,


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