The Bridesmaid Chronicles: when saying No is the best yes

Bridesmaid(Wasimamizi) Chronicles: When saying No is the Best Yes

April went and August is coming and so is December where single ladies will be on high demand of “standing for weddings”.

Sister joy, I know this will come out so badly but allow me to say it… You are not obligated to be a bridesmaid on every wedding please.

Financially speaking, you do not have the luxury and let’s be honest; in some of these plans, you were an after thought.

I know it’s not okay to say NO to the bride but the rate at which the economy is going I think you’re allowed to say no.

Here comes my 5 cents…

If you are not close to the bride in anyway whatsoever you have no business investing in becoming a bridesmaid. I mean the kind that you dont even see their statuses because chances are they deleted your number after high school. Please you have the right to SAY NO, unless the dress you’re doing is to die for.

If you didn’t even get an invite for the ruracio. I mean, and you are seeing it on Facebook, that people were actually invited and some warembo even had matching vitenges, Bebe, you were an afterthought please SAY NO

If the whole thing takes away like your 2 months salary.. I mean, talk of people that want your 10k urgently… this is more insulting…She is not even on your call favourites in your contacts, it is not worth it.

Chances are you’ll invest in that wedding and they’ll be asking ” HUYU DEM TULIKUWA TUNAMUITAJE” when they look at the wedding photos after 3 years.

Before you say yes to ” STAND”…you have the right to ask all the questions you have to see if you fit in…

Ask Especially financial related questions. I know girls are timid to ask money related questions…but after 25 you are not a girl, you are not timid, you are a WOMAN who is financially conscious and has bills to pay…be comfortable to say you can’t afford being in the line up.

Ask about the dress, what’s the colour, are there adjustments to the design or the bride is rigid about it.

I mean, you guys can’t be asking SISTER JOY to invest in a mgongo wazi, with no sleeves,, with a slit to the upper thigh kinda a dress that costs ksh.8,900 while if you know her well enough you’ll know that she has soap dishes that she tries to hide and she will never wear that dress again because she is DADA KANISA.

Yaani 8900 imeenda Ivo. Like money fallen in a pit latrine. You know the Ushago latrines that you wait for the “DU” sound…if you know you know.

Ask about the morning shoot, do they need photography then, are you wearing those morning gowns, and what is the cost.

Ask about the make-up artist, and her social handle. Check if she has experience with people of your skin tone and skin condition if you have a skin condition. Don’t look like a clown in a 10k outfit that you’ll never wear again please.

Ask about the hairstyle, does the bride need natural hair or pleated. What’s the style she prefers and can you afford that.

Ask about where you’ll sleep, is there a cost or something like that?

My journey on MADAM BRIDES and weddings has given me trauma and in the defense of the bride, I must say this is the best day of her life and she might be irrational.

But I must say, irrational or not, let it not be at your expense SISTER JOY, especially if you’re not thaaaaat close. If you are very close, take it as the cost you have to pay for having an expensive bestie and take it with pride and grace.

Like there is a very thin line.

PS: SHE’S THE ONE LEAVING WITH THE HUSBAND …

You are leaving on a matatu if you don’t have Uber money or a car, a dress you will never wear again, shoes that require you to Uber, an empty stomach and resentment for yourself for not having the guts to say no, if you really wanted to say no.

DADA WA KANISA, saying no will make you look and feel like you’re a hater. But you’d better be tagged as that.

If you’re close to the bride, of course you’ll know these things because chances are you’ll be brainstorming with her.

REMEMBER… THEY ARE ‘ASKING’ YOU TO BE THEIR BRIDESMAID NOT ‘TELLING’ YOU. AND IF IT’S A QUESTION, A NO CAN BE AN ANSWER TOO…

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